Players come and players go In the summer transfer window Clubs making deals before it is closed In the summer transfer window Prices high, they're never low In the summer transfer window Where will it end, nobody knows In the summer transfer window Everybody goes a bit nuts As the window starts to shut Managers sign any old fool Who can seemingly kick a ball Sky Sports go into overdrive Breaking News: Gareth Bales still alive Only one guy takes a break Arsene Wenger puts his feet up and his cheque book away Players come and players go In the summer transfer window Clubs making deals before it is closed In the summer transfer window Prices high, they're ever low In the summer transfer window Where will it end, nobody knows In the summer transfer window

Let's get on the Stoke bus Its free for all Stoke fans Every away game this season Leave your cars and vans And get on the Stoke bus The bus is like Stoke's football The journeys they are long And the seats are uncomfortable But get on the Stoke bus You'll never be alone You can spend the journey betting On the game like Camerone Jerome And get on the Stoke bus Whether they win or lose Probably more the latter Now Stoke have got Mark Hughes But get on the Stoke bus It's free that is the truth! Although at the end of the journey You have to look at Robert Huth Let's get on the Stoke bus There's space for you no doubt There's space for everyone Unless you're as big as Peter Crouch We're all on the Stoke bus It's free so don't you frown I wonder if it will still be free Next season when we go down?

Now the season's over, everyone is bored So we need some transfer rumours more and more Who is moving club and who is going where Which footballer's wife has gone and changed her hair Well first there is Chelsea, they've got lots of money And now they've got Jose, will he say something funny? Lampard and John Terry will be pleased to see him It means they then can play for one more season Manchester United, they've got David Moyes He wants to spend money on some brand new toys Maybe Fabregas, he could be a steal Moyes thinks the midfielder has got Cesc appeal Then there is Man City where there is never enough Even though they've bought someone called Jesus Arsenal have finally brought in someone good Wenger's wiped the cobwebs off the old chequebook And then there's Gareth Bale, aka Tottenham Hotspurs Real Madrid are desperate to make him one of theirs If he goes the price tag, it will be obscene And Spurs will have to withdraw from the Premier League Lots and lots of transfers, more and more each week Sometimes it is hard to keep up with each And there is one rumour I can now repeal I will never leave The Football Special

Once there was this kid from Brazil He had an abundance of skills But the world said you should stay still You're in a league that's run of the mill He was blessed with pace and flair He played like he just didn't care Defenders never had a prayer And every week he changed his hair Each game Santos supporters sang songs But very soon they knew he'd be gone Neymar in Europe you belong They'd say but wished that they were wrong His summer was full of celebrations He lit up the Confederations Now he's famous in every nation Neymar, you're a star in the making But the question surrounds Neymar Is he going to be a star? The boy from Brazil has come so far But the next step it will be hard Leaving home to follow your heart Are we keen for you to be the best Neymar Yes we are Oh Neymar He gave every Santos fan a boner Every time he did a rabona But he had some chats with the owner Now he's going to Barcelona And he's in for a real test, a Team with Messi and Iniesta Chance to prove he's not just a jester If he works hard, time for fiesta But the question surrounds Neymar Is he going to be a star? The boy from Brazil has come so far But the next step it will be hard Leaving home to follow your heart Are we keen for you to be the best Neymar Yes we are Oh Neymar

Gimme one more year to prove myself Im gonna play into my forties Im gonna keep on scoring for Palace Just like its still the noughties Many said that I couldn't do it So now I'm feeling haughty So gimme one more year to prove myself Im gonna play into my forties I may not have much of my legs left But I can still play every game As long as there is space on the bench for my blanket and zimmer frame I need to be looked after So I can keep on hanging around But I can't play evening games Because that clashes with Countdown Gimme one more year to prove myself Im gonna play into my forties Im gonna keep on scoring for Palace Just like its still the noughties It don't matter how old you are As long as you're feeling sporty So gimme one more year to prove myself Im gonna play into my forties

Have you seen the new guy at fulham have you seen whats on his face? it looks like the man from Pringles has taken over the place Shahid khan is his name and he owns the jacksonville jaguars too that's american football for tashless folks like me and you but we should all wear tashes to fulham (all wear tastes to fulham) every single game (every single game) all wear tastes to fulham give them to the players when they play cos we should all wear tashes to fulham (all wear tastes to fulham) that could be their nickname (could be their nickname) lets watch the tastes at fulham things will never be the same Let's get a bit of fluff on Damien Duff A handlebar on Dimitar A goatee on Derek Boateng Wait, is that going too far? Nah, cos Fulham could reclaim facial hair And really make it their own Stick a tash on the Michael Jackson statue It's Bad but so what, shamone! and we should all wear tashes to fulham (all wear tastes to fulham) every single game (every single game) all wear tastes to fulham give them to the players when they play cos we should all wear tashes to fulham (all wear tastes to fulham) that could be their nickname (could be their nickname) lets watch the tastes at fulham things will never be the same

Some results are good Some results are bad Some results make fans happy, angry or sad Some games are great Some games are shite Some games make you revaluate your life Some days are fun Some days a chore Some days your team can play forever and not score Sometimes you cheer Sometimes you curse Sometimes you realise it could be much worse But someday it will be clear to us all That life is much bigger, bigger than football We all want our team to win all the time But not at the expense of losing your life So Tito and James Alexander Gordon We will forever be cheering you on And know that you have support from us all That life is much bigger, bigger than football

I always thought that he'd come back to the place where he is still loved when he was first at chelsea he claimed that he had come from above and they won so many trophies so everything was alright but now he's back something's different mourinho is now fucking nice back in the good old days you knew where you were with jose he'd claim he's bigger than jesus every single day but now he's back he's not the same he's more mellow i guess now that he's is old he's being friendly and happy to be honest it is really dull so come on jose don't do this don't be a let down now that you're back say something funny or arrogant or else you might as well get the sack the only reason you're here is because youre in the entertainment business if you're going to be boring id rather have rafa benitez

He was one of the best managers of all He won titles playing sexy football His Barcelona team it did rule He made the cardigan suit combo cool His name was Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Now he's got a new start at Bayern Winning everything he'll be tryin' Life in Germany he has chosen Swapped his cardigan for leiderhosen Now he's living in a new area A Spaniard making a start in Bavaria But he will stay focused and calm Hanging out with Robben and Philipp Lahm His name was Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola Guardiola, Pep Guardiola

It's a new season and a new dawn for Hull because they've changed their name They're now Hull City Tigers and things are never going to be the same What about the other teams in the premier league? What could we rename them to make their names a bit more sexy? arsenal that is boring they can be north london guns aston villa's so vanilla, how about Claret Villains anyone? cardiff have done our job for us, they're now the red dragons for chelsea it is simple they will be the special ones Crystal Palace sounds like a night club they can be South London Eagles Everton can be Merseyside Blues - that sounds a bit more regal Fulham thanks to Shahid Khan will be the Riverside Tashes Hull we've covered so to Liverpool - The Liverbirds, rising from the ashes Man City are so rich the should be the Sky Blue Aristocrats Across the city to United, they're the Red Fergies, and that's that At Newcastle everyones French, lets call them les Rostbif Norwich's biggest fan is Stephen Fry they can be the Yellow Tweets Southampton are already called the Saints we'll let them be Stoke are called the Potters, let's add to that the prefix Harry Sunderland are Black Cats but that makes me feel superstitious Swansea like to be the Swans, but Killer Swans, that sounds much more vicous Spurs are Spurs thats fine, and West Brom will be Brom Jovi That leaves West Ham that's simple, they will be the Iron Cockneys! Now they've all got American names Hull wont feel so stupid Well except when they're relegated and back in the Championship

They say that football is for everyone It doesn't matter what you look like, where you're from The game has come so far its true And now it's time to eradicate one last taboo Everybody has the right to be who they want to be The ball doesn't care about your sexuality Some footballers are gay some supporters are gay some referees are gay some linesman some chairman are gay and nothings gonna change nothings gonna change No nothings gonna change So lets just focus on the game Your team is part of your identity Some peoples teams are shit some are in the Champions League But thats your right you have to choose And choosing who to be with should never bring abuse It's time to grow up, come on it is 2013 whether you're gay or straight we're all on the same team some footballers are gay some supporters are gay some agents are gay some directors of football are gay and it doesn't really matter doesn't matter at all doesn't matter who you love because we all love football

Give Ashley Young a protective helmet Give Ashley Young the help he needs Give Ashley Young a wheelchair cos has problems staying on his feet Give Ashley Young a five game ban Give Ashley Young what he deserves Give Ashley Young a fine, we mean it this time, and stick him in the reserves He is a brilliant diver He's better than Tom Daley Get him in the olympic diving team for Rio 2016 He swan dives every game It's like he's putting on a show If there were judges in the crowd they'd give him 9.9 and 10.0 Give Ashley Young a protective helmet Give Ashley Young the help he needs I'm not saying Ashley Young's a massive cheat but Ashley Young's a massive cheat Let's kick Ashley Young out of football We don't want cheaters to prevail And that goes to anyone who likes to dive, I'm looking at you Gareth Bale

We want to thank, thank you all for watching The Football Special